My life is crumpling apart
by phantomenace
Summary: I have made a huge mistake, can't take it back my life is horrible I'm breaking down inside and out. No one can help me because there is no one to help me I am all alone.


I made a horrible decision I did it for fun it was a supposed to be a joke but turned out to backfire. I bet he is showing everyone what a disgusting person I am. I'm such an idiot I never knew I would feel this bad I bet you he is laughing at me. Moved on to the next girl to trick her I thought he wanted to be my friend but it was the complete opposite he used me and is now showing everybody that I changed my profile picture but I know he already knows my face putting it on the internet saying "look at this IDOIT I tricked her yes I did she is so stupid." I was scrolling through random pictures and saw that picture I threw my iPod and started to cry he did it he ruined my life I took the knife I keep under my pillow and started cutting myself I thought I could control myself. I'm depressed my friends always ask me what's wrong but I always just shrug it off say a joke and start laughing like it's nothing but in my heart I feel pain and sadness I'm such a freaking idiot. My family is starting to see that I don't smile anymore and my mom saw a cut on my forearm I told her I accidentally cut myself, I'm happy she didn't see they other cuts on my arms or she would have freaked out and I would have to tell her the truth. He knows my name he could just look me up and ruin my life it's so simple it's horrible I bet I will get made fun of at school I don't want to go to school tomorrow everyone is going to laugh at me calling me names everyone has that picture all they do is shove it in my face reminding me of my mistake my so called friends are not even talking to be anymore they don't want to be friends with a person like me I can't take it anymore instead of cutting myself once a week I cut myself everyday I can only escape this world through pain I'm starting to lose a lot of blood since I'm anemic it won't take me long to die from blood loss. My family is really starting to worry about me I just push them away I can't trust anyone anymore I have to depend on myself I can't even depend on my cat Cyrus he might tell someone. I see its taking a while to die from blood loss so I started to cut my legs and stomach I think that's where most blood flows. When I'm in class and get the urge to cut myself it's a good thing I had my knife close to me. I ask to use the bathroom so I can cut myself I look to see if there is anyone in any of the stalls than do 4 quick deep cuts on my arms two on each the pain keeps me from remembering the horrible decision I made. I time myself 3 minutes I could only stay out of class. The bullying was getting worse I started staying in the bathroom longer and cutting myself more I can't take this anymore. I was in Chemistry when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore so I asked to use the bathroom walked to the 3rd floor bathroom and I leaned back on a wall I started crying, took out my knife from my pocket and slit my wrists I made sure it was deep enough so I can die quicker I don't have any regrets I wanted to die but something always held me back I never knew what it was until now it was fear that held me back holding on to me not letting go hoping that things will get better I lost all of my friends, they can't help me cuz the abandoned me they won't even look at me now, now fear saw it was hopeless so it set me free that's when I took my chance before fear came back. I was slowly drifting away from this living hell I would have never thought I would be so happy to die it doesn't matter no one would miss me I almost forgot why I wanted to kill myself it was because a guy tricked me into sending him a nude picture of me, but I covered myself he asked for more because he wasn't satisfied I refused to send him another so he stopped talking to me and put that picture of me on the internet when I found out he did that...that's when I lost my sanity I lost my will to go on I felt my world crumbling apart. The darkness was very welcoming I ran for that away from this putrid world the darkness was enveloping me I was getting closer to death I'm so excited. And that's when it fully took me. I wore a smile on my face I'm finally gone.


End file.
